Tips for Knowing Whether that Blue Crab is from Maryland and Virginia

It's official.  Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe thinks Maryland's blue crabs should be called Virginia crabs.      

Yup, that's right, Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe is not only making a play for Washington's football team (which plays in Largo, Maryland); he's now claiming bragging rights to the delicacy on which we Marylanders put our old bay.

How dare he?

Ok, he's Terry McAuliffe.  That's a dumb question.

A better question is how the purist Marylander can you tell if his or her blue crab is from Virginian?

Based on my misspent youth in Virginia, I've put together a handy dandy list of sure-fire signs your crab is from the Old Dominion.

A Virginia crab would...

1. Like grits and think you're a communist for putting anything besides salt and butter on them.
2. Expect the ice tea to be sweet
3. Confuse paprika for Old Bay
4. Re-enact the War Between the Crabs on the weekends.
5. Drive like a maniac and blame it on Maryland and DC residents
6. Brag about low taxes while complaining about the horrible condition of state roads
7. Love Jesus and liquor
8. Make you feel guilty for not loving Jesus enough
9. Say 'bless your heart' instead of 'F*&K you! 
10. Cast votes that confuse the heck out of the rest of the country

But never fear, Maryland and Virginia crabs will always set aside their differences to hate on West Virginia Catfish.      

Who 'owns' the football team in Burgundy and Gold?

Who owns the NFL football team that wears burgundy and gold?  The team is officially called the Washington *&^%$.  But, it has its stadium in Maryland and its headquarter and training facility in Virginia.

The answer to my question would seem obvious.  The whole metro area does.  Of course, this being the DMV, a land where everything is subject to politics, it's not so simple.

DC House Delegate Eleanor Norton Holmes calls the team "Washington's football team."  She refuses to use the team's official name on the grounds that it is offensive.  But, she'll still claim it for the city.

A few days ago Washington Post Sport columnist Jonathan Wise disagreed, suggesting the team really belonged to Virginia.  The state's new governor, Terry McAuliffe, feels the same way.  In fact, unlike Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley and DC mayor Vince Gray, McAuliffe isn't wading into the name controversy.  He's happy to claim the team for Virginia with its current name, and while he's at it to take a political contribution from its owner.

My husband, who follows just about every sport known to man, couldn't disagree more.  (Ok, he doesn't follow golf or cricket, but he's got everything else covered, which is why he's the Maryland sports representative for this blog).  When I asked him who owned the team and told him Wise claimed Virginia did, his first response was an incredulous 'huh?'  A man of few words, his comment was akin to a "what you talkin' about Willis?"  Sensing my need for more commentary, he followed up.  "They play in MARYLAND."

Here's my question?  Why, at the moment, would any of these jurisdictions want to claim the team.  And, by claim, I don't mean claim the tax revenue that comes with the franchise.  I mean claim in a broader, cultural sense.  As in, this is part of who I am, and who my people are.  It is part of my tradition and history.

I'm no fan of the NFL (see here and here for why), but I'll accept that you can love a team even when you hate the league it is a part of.  And, unfortunately, the NFL would hardly be the first sports organization corrupted beyond repair (FIFA anyone?).  But, that aside, the burgundy and gold have something else working against them.  The owner, Dan Snyder.  You know, the man who sues weekly magazines (The Washington City Paper) because no one but Dan Snyder can take the piss out of Dan Snyder.  He's also the guy who charges outrageous prices for tickets and then robs you a second time when you buy a hot dog, coke, or beer.  And, let's not forget that pesky habit of micromanaging the front office, coaches, players, and maybe even a cheerleader or two (just kidding about the cheerleaders--please don't sue me Mr. Snyder). This man would give Shakespeare or Shonda Rhimes (Grey's Anatomy, Scandal) a run for the money. 

Hubby's not ready to give the team up, but for me, I'm happy to let outer space claim them.