Tips for Knowing Whether that Blue Crab is from Maryland and Virginia

It's official.  Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe thinks Maryland's blue crabs should be called Virginia crabs.      

Yup, that's right, Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe is not only making a play for Washington's football team (which plays in Largo, Maryland); he's now claiming bragging rights to the delicacy on which we Marylanders put our old bay.

How dare he?

Ok, he's Terry McAuliffe.  That's a dumb question.

A better question is how the purist Marylander can you tell if his or her blue crab is from Virginian?

Based on my misspent youth in Virginia, I've put together a handy dandy list of sure-fire signs your crab is from the Old Dominion.

A Virginia crab would...

1. Like grits and think you're a communist for putting anything besides salt and butter on them.
2. Expect the ice tea to be sweet
3. Confuse paprika for Old Bay
4. Re-enact the War Between the Crabs on the weekends.
5. Drive like a maniac and blame it on Maryland and DC residents
6. Brag about low taxes while complaining about the horrible condition of state roads
7. Love Jesus and liquor
8. Make you feel guilty for not loving Jesus enough
9. Say 'bless your heart' instead of 'F*&K you! 
10. Cast votes that confuse the heck out of the rest of the country

But never fear, Maryland and Virginia crabs will always set aside their differences to hate on West Virginia Catfish.